She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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