i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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