i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
