if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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