i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
