I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sarcasm needs its own font
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
