why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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