so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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