a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
