No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
