Screwed.edu
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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