forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
