I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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