I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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