in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
