Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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