I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
