Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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