he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body