The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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