Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
