I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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