You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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