I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
