Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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