You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize