yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
