now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Success! We fucked roommates!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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