We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
