i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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