TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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