i just google imaged poop.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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