you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
