you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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