Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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