Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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