using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
