Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize