come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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