Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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