Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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