sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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