just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
