Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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