that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize