Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
