I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
