I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
