Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
