Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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