apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
