so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
