I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dear god my vagina.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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