You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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