that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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