After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
