i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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