drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
