Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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