My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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