thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
