so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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