Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
