he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
